The Winner This Week is...

Mary Lee Hahn of A Year of Reading is the lucky winner of Once Upon a Tomb: Gravely Humorous Verses, which was written by J. Patrick Lewis and illustrated by Simon Bartram. If you haven’t read this poetry book yet, Mary Lee, you’re in for a treat—and lots of chuckles!

Here is the schedule for the upcoming drawings at Wild Rose Reader and Political Verses.

May 1st—for comments left on posts dated April 26-30

The winner of the drawing that will take place on May 1st will receive a copy of The Best of Ogden Nash.

Find out who won copies of Birds on a Wire and What Can you Do with an Old Red Shoe? over at Wild Rose Reader.

Knock, Knock, Knockin' on Heaven's Door: John Yoo at the Pearly Gates

FYI

Yoo Torture Memo Says Fourth Amendment Doesn't Apply in War on Terror (Wired)
John Yoo is sorry for nothing (Salon.com)

Knock Knock Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door: John Yoo at the Pearly Gates

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Halloo! It’s Yoo!
Yoo Who?
John Yoo. That’s who.
The Yoo who wrote the torture memo?
THAT Yoo!
Yes, it’s THAT Yoo. That’s true.
You, Yoo, cannot come in. Shoo, Yoo,
Head to hell where you’ll get your due!

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Boohoo! Boohoo!
I beg your pardon. Boo…Who?
It’s Yoo—not Boo! Sorry…I was feeling blue.
Now open the gate and let me through!
As I recall, I bid YOU adieu.
Now go to hell like I told you to.

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
It’s me. It’s Yoo.
Let me in or I’ll make a great big hullabaloo!
Pooh, Yoo, you’ve done some things that you should rue.
Now it’s time to sit and stew.
The devil said you’re overdue!
Let me in. I’m begging you!
Sorry, Yoo—no can do.
It’s time for you to barbecue
Down with the fire and brimstone crew.
Adieu. Toodle-oo. Don’t come back. SCREW, Yoo!


Earlier This Week at Political Verses
The Cows Caused It: A Poem about Global Warming
This Be the Verse: It Doesn't Matter What You Do (A Poem by J. Patrick Lewis)

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• My post at Wild Rose Reader, Poetry Friday: Animal Haiku, includes reviews of four books of haiku about animals.
• At Blue Rose Girls today: Opposite Poems--Part 2
• The Poetry Friday Roundup is at Under the Covers this week.

This Be the Verse: It Doesn't Matter What You Do

I have two poems for you today--one by Philip Larkin and one by J. Patrick Lewis

This Be the Verse
by Philip Larkin

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

You can read the rest of Larkin’s poem here.

About Philip Larkin

• You can read out about poet Philip Larkin and find links to some of his poems here.
• Not just about your mum and dad (An article about Philip Larkin by Joshua Weiner)
  
  

  J. Patrick Lewis

Here is a poem by J. Patrick Lewis—written in the style of This Be the Verse:

It Doesn’t Matter What You Do
After Philip Larkin

by J. Patrick Lewis

You fuck them up, your girl and boy.
It doesn’t matter what you do.
The latest theories you employ
Will make them flaming assholes, too.

And then, to maximize despair,
Greedy daughters and selfish sons
Repay your fine parental care
By breeding Young Republicans.

The Cows Caused It: A Poem about Global Warming

It's a good thing there are folks like Rep. Dana Rohrabacher of California and Rep. John Boehner of Ohio around to help shed light on who the worst producers of greenhouse gases may be. Who knew it was the flatulence of dinosuars and cows that may have caused climatic changes on planet Earth?

FYI: Some News Links

• Rep. Rohrabacher: Global Warming May Have Been Caused By ‘Dinosaur Flatulence’
• Boehner Cites Cow Farts To Downplay Global Warming (VIDEO)
• Cow Farts: Global Warmers or a Load of Hot Air?
• Cow farts collected in plastic tank for global warming study
• Scientists study cow farts in an attempt to reduce greenhouse gas emissions

On the Flatulence of Cows and Global Warming

The dinosaurs farted.
And now it’s the cows—
Whose anal emissions
Waft into the air
Increasing the greenhouse
Gases “up there.”
In blissful abandon
Cows graze on green grass,
Mooing and chewing
And chewing and pooing—
All the while strewing
Brown pies everywhere.

These flatulent bovines…
These cud masticators…
Digestive polluters …
Toxic gas generators…
These methane producers
Seem harmless and charming.
But I’ve got the scoop—
On the cows and their poop:
They’re the primary cause
Of Earth’s global warming.

This Week's Winner Is...

Mary Lee Hahn of A Year of Reading is the lucky winner of American Wits: An Anthology of Light Verse edited by John Hollander. I have little doubt that Mary Lee will enjoy this compilation of works by Arthur Guiterman, Robert Frost, Don Marquis, Morris Bishop, Ogden Nash, E. B. White, Phyllis McGinley, W. H. Auden, David McCord, Dorothy Parker, and poets.

Here is the schedule for the upcoming drawings at Wild Rose Reader and Political Verses.

• April 26th—for comments left on posts dated April 19-25
• May 1st—for comments left on posts dated April 26-30
  

The winner of the drawing that takes place on April 26th will receive a copy of Once Upon a Tomb: Gravely Humorous Verse, which was written by J. Patrick Lewis and illustrated by Simon Bartram. This is a book of poems and pictures sure to tickle the funny bones of children and adults alike.

Find out who won a copy of Joyce Sidman's Red Sings from Treetops: A Year in Colors over at Wild Rose Reader.

Bill O. the Bully & Amanda Terkel

Huffington Post: O'Reilly Producer Stalks Amanda Terkel: THE VIDEO

Think Progress: I Was Followed, Harassed, And Ambushed By Bill O’Reilly’s Producer


Bill O. the Bully & Amanda Terkel

Amanda had an enemy.
His voice was loud and gruff.
He liked to spout off on TV…
To swagger and act tough.

He sent his henchman out one day
To follow poor Amanda…
To ambush her and make a film
To use as propaganda

On his nighttime TV show
He calls the “No Spin Zone”—
Wherein the blowhard blusters
Through his mouthy megaphone

And spins the news to meet his needs
With spiderly exaction—
He Who Can’t Be Criticized—
FOX channel’s star attraction.

Amanda Terkel is Deputy Research Director at the Center for American Progress and serves as Managing Editor for The Progress Report and ThinkProgress.org at the Center for American Progress.

Gasbag: A Limbaughrhyme

GASBAG

OxyContin
Pudding and pie
Rush popped five pills
And went sky high.

He floated
In the stratosphere
Like the Goodyear blimp,
A gaseous sermoneer,

An incendiary
Doctrinaire
Spouting racist talk—
And full of hot air!

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At Wild Rose Reader today--Red Sings from Treetops: A Book Review & An Invitation

At Blue Rose Girls today: POETRY FRIDAY: Opposite Poems

The Poetry Friday Roundup is at Becky’s Book Reviews this week.