Who's the Turkey?: A Poem about Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin Turkey Farm Interview



Who’s the Turkey?

Gobble, gobble, gobble,
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Who IS that talking turkey?
It’s the GOP’s new stah!

She blathers with a perky smile.
You betcha. Doncha know
That we should be like Sarah?
Rogue’s the ONLY way to go.


Headzup: Sarah Palin Explains the Turkey Interview

Happy Thanksgiving from Erik Prince & Blackwater

Some of you may find the following article that Jeremy Scahill wrote for The Nation interesting: Blackwater’s Secret War in Pakistan (November 23, 2009).

At a covert forward operating base run by the US Joint Special Operations Command (JSOC) in the Pakistani port city of Karachi, members of an elite division of Blackwater are at the center of a secret program in which they plan targeted assassinations of suspected Taliban and Al Qaeda operatives, "snatch and grabs" of high-value targets and other sensitive action inside and outside Pakistan, an investigation by The Nation has found. The Blackwater operatives also assist in gathering intelligence and help direct a secret US military drone bombing campaign that runs parallel to the well-documented CIA predator strikes, according to a well-placed source within the US military intelligence apparatus.

The source, who has worked on covert US military programs for years, including in Afghanistan and Pakistan, has direct knowledge of Blackwater's involvement. He spoke to The Nation on condition of anonymity because the program is classified. The source said that the program is so "compartmentalized" that senior figures within the Obama administration and the US military chain of command may not be aware of its existence.

You can read the rest of the article here.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

The Teabagger Tea Party Post

From ThinkProgress (11/17/2009)
‘Teabagger’ was an Oxford Word of the Year finalist.
In February, when conservatives began protesting against President Obama with tea parties, the Washington Independent’s Dave Weigel photographed a protester carrying a sign that declared, “tea bag the liberal Dems before they tea bag you!!” Soon after, the term “tea bagger” became a ubiquitous and often derogatory handle for right-wing protesters. Now, Mediaite reports that the term “teabagger” was a finalist in consideration to be the New Oxford American Dictionary’s Word of the Year:

You can read the rest of the post here.

Tea Party Video with Benny Hill Theme



Ode to a Teabagger
by Atticus
(From a Democratic Underground Discussion Board, August 11, 2009)

Saliva dripping off your chin
Bulging eyes, maniacal grin
Handwritten misspelled sign in hand
Egged on by Rush, you “take a stand”.

As cameras roll, you scream and chant
Your sound-bite so the speaker can’t
Be heard at all. Your job is done
Didn’t even have to pull a gun.

You can read the rest of the poem here.

Here’s a link to a poem I wrote on the subject of teabagging last April: Teatime for Sean Hannity: A Double Dactyl

Making the Grade

From Jonathan Turley’s blog (11/12/2009): Alma Market: North Carolina School Ordered to Stop Selling Grades as Fundraiser

Educators at the Rosewood Middle School had struggled with raising money. Candy and other traditional items did not generate much money for the Goldsboro, North Carolina school. Then they found a commodity that the public was hankering for: they started to sell grades. Until, that is, a bunch of do gooders stepped in and objected.

You can read the rest of the post here.


From newsobserver.com (11/12/2009): District nixes cash-for-grades fundraiser



I found this story hard to believe. Still, it inspired me to write the following little poem:

Making the Grade


Hip hip hooray!
I got an A
On my science test today.

In history
I got a B—
Thanks to Mom and Dad. You see…

I made the grade
Because they paid.
I love their new financial aid!

A Dead Rabbit Toss Competition Poem

New Zealand Cancels Dead Rabbit Toss Competition


From Jonathan Turley’s blog (11/10/2009)

It appears that you have missed your chance to participate in the annual Dead Rabbit Throw competition in New Zealand. Animal welfare activists seem to have found it somehow distasteful to have families try to throw dead rabbits the farthest.

The annual “Rabbit Throw” was held in the town of Waiau but was cancelled after a concerted campaign by the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (SPCA). Organiser Jo Moriarty claims banning the bunny contest is “political correctness gone mad”.

You can read the rest of the article here.


Here's the poem I was inpsired to write about the bunny tossing competition:

Rabbits here,
Rabbits there,
Rabbits sailing through the air.

Projectile bunnies
Tossed for sport—
That’s entertainment of ANOTHER sort.

Grab a leg
Or grab an ear
And fling a bunny outta here.

Join us in
A fine tradition:
The dead hare tossing competition.

Driving Drunk: A Short Poem about Mary Strey

Drunk Driver Mary Strey

(MYFOX NATIONAL, 11/02/2009) - A Wisconsin woman called 911 to report a drunk driver. It turned out that she identified the driver as herself.

According to the released 911 tape, Mary Strey of Granton, Wisc., called the emergency number on Oct. 24 at about 11:20 p.m. and reported "Somebody's really drunk driving down Granton Road."

The dispatcher tried to determine which way the reported driver was headed and asked Strey "Okay are you behind them, or..."
Strey responded, "No, I am them."
The dispatcher verified, "You am them?"
"Yes, I am them," replied Strey.
"Okay, so you want to call and report that you're driving drunk?" confirmed the dispatcher.
"Yes," Strey answered.

You can read the rest of the article here.


Here's a little poem that I wrote about Mary "I Am Them" Strey:

This is Ms. Mary Strey
And I’m calling to say
That I’m out on the road driving drunk today.

I’m not sure what I’ve done
So I called 911.
Could you get in a cruiser and fetch me, my son?

HOT DOG!: A Turley Blawg Verse

Here’s a link to another post at Professor Jonathan Turley’s blog that inspired me to write a poem:

Nothing to Relish: Massachusetts Man Gets 18 Months for Stealing Hot Dog (September 29, 2009)

Antonio Judd really really wanted a hot dog. He grabbed a dog from a person on the street in Worcester and will now pay his debt to society with eighteen months in jail.

Judd has a prior record of assault and was found with a pellet gun — but the hot dog was long gone. The forensic “splatter” evidence included mustard spilled on the shirt of the victim.

You can read the rest of the post here.


HOT DOG!
by Elaine Magliaro

Yellow mustard, ketchup, and relish—
The condiments we add to embellish
A naked frank…to enhance its flavor
Before we take a bite and savor
A luscious link in a toasted bun.
BUT
Don’t filch a frank when armed with a gun—
And eat it sloppily on the run.
Don’t be a gluttonous simpleton.
Don’t let that yellow mustard splatter.
Stealing dogs is a serious matter!
Before you grab that tasty wurst
Make sure you have a napkin first.
THEN
Tuck it under your chin and eat
And try to avoid the cop on the beat.