Tuesday, November 3, 2009

HOT DOG!: A Turley Blawg Verse

Here’s a link to another post at Professor Jonathan Turley’s blog that inspired me to write a poem:

Nothing to Relish: Massachusetts Man Gets 18 Months for Stealing Hot Dog (September 29, 2009)

Antonio Judd really really wanted a hot dog. He grabbed a dog from a person on the street in Worcester and will now pay his debt to society with eighteen months in jail.

Judd has a prior record of assault and was found with a pellet gun — but the hot dog was long gone. The forensic “splatter” evidence included mustard spilled on the shirt of the victim.

You can read the rest of the post here.

by Elaine Magliaro

Yellow mustard, ketchup, and relish—
The condiments we add to embellish
A naked frank…to enhance its flavor
Before we take a bite and savor
A luscious link in a toasted bun.
Don’t filch a frank when armed with a gun—
And eat it sloppily on the run.
Don’t be a gluttonous simpleton.
Don’t let that yellow mustard splatter.
Stealing dogs is a serious matter!
Before you grab that tasty wurst
Make sure you have a napkin first.
Tuck it under your chin and eat
And try to avoid the cop on the beat.


  1. You are amazing! Great poem inspired by a hot dog thief!!! Wowsah!

  2. Jean Valjean with a pellet gun
    stole a hot dog and away he run -
    The hot dog was eat
    and Jean was beat
    and Jean ran crying down the street....

    (Oops - make that Antonia Judd.)But doesn't it sound like the 21st-century version of a long novel by Victor Hugo?

    Great poem, Elaine - and thank you for your nice comment about poetry over at the Drift Record.

  3. Mary Lee,

    Honestly, some of the true that I read at the Turley blog are too funny!


    It does sound like 21st century version of that old story. Have you ever read ShrinkLits? I love that book. I've misplaced my copy of it somewhere in my house.