Look at the Man: A Poem Explaining Why Women with Mates Gain Weight

Study Says Women With Mates Get Heavier
By Nicholas Bakalar
New York Times (January 4, 2010)

It is widely known that women tend to gain weight after giving birth, but now a large study has found evidence that even among childless women, those who live with a mate put on more pounds than those who live without one.

The differences, the scientists found, were stark.

After adjusting for other variables, the 10-year weight gain for an average 140-pound woman was 20 pounds if she had a baby and a partner, 15 if she had a partner but no baby, and only 11 pounds if she was childless with no partner. The number of women with a baby but no partner was too small to draw statistically significant conclusions.

There is no reason to believe that having a partner causes metabolic changes, so the weight gain among childless women with partners was almost surely caused by altered behavior. Moreover, there was a steady weight gain among all women over the 10 years of the study.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/05/health/05weight.html

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Here's a poem I wrote after reading this article:

Look at the Man: A Poem Explaining Why Women with Mates Gain Weight

Once upon a time he was a prince.
Now every time I look at him I wince.
That dashing fellow who once caught my fancy
Now sports big boobies like my old Aunt Nancy.
As I dream of wedded bliss…a life diviner--
He croaks out to me from his worn recliner,
“Honey, do me a favor—be a dear—
Would you go and fetch me another ice cold beer?
And while you’re at it, get a bag of chips!”
Those are the loving words that pass through his wan lips.
He never buys me flowers, takes me dancing.
My mate’s not into sweet talk and romancing.
He’s always in a couch potato mode—
That prince I married turned into a toad.