Jack Be Nimble: A Rove-ian Rhyme

In celebration of National Poetry Month I'll be giving away books of light verse to certain lucky individuals who comment at my poetry posts at Political Verses. You'll find more information about how to win a book at the bottom of this post.

Turn back the clock. Imagine you’re Karl Rove hanging out in the Oval Office with your pals President George Dubya and lobbyist Jack Jack Abramoff and some legislators. If you were prescient, you’d have a sense that Jack will one day be involved in a big scandal and that it would best for your boss if Jack isn't seen—or caught on camera—in the White House. Here’s what you, the loveable Turd Blossom, might say to Jack if you saw news reporters heading for the White House. That is, this is what you might say if you were inclined to speaking in rhyming verse.

Jack Be Nimble
(A Rove-ian rhyme in which Karl Rove hastily waxes poetic to Jack Abramoff when he sees reporters approaching the White House)

Jack be nimble…
Jack be slick.
Jack, slip out of the White House…QUICK!
I spy nosy news reporters.
You can’t be caught in Dubya’s quarters.
Sorry, pal, you just can’t stay.
Think of what the press would say!
(We’ll invite you back another day
For caviar and a prime filet.)
Head for K Street right away!
Get back to work on pay to play—
That’s your genius, that’s your shtick.
Jack, slip out of the White House…QUICK!

From the New York Times (February 12, 2006): Photograph Shows Lobbyist at Bush Meeting with Legislators

From ThinkProgress (April 2, 2007): The K Street Project Lives, Norquist Aide Soliciting Support At Event Tonight

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NOTE: Leave a comment at any of my posts from April 1st-4th and you could win a book of light verse entitled The Underwear Salesman and Other Jobs for Better or Worse. The book was written by J. Patrick Lewis and illustrated by Serge Bloch.

If you leave a comment at one post, your name will be entered into the drawing once...if you leave comments at two posts, your name will be entered twice...and so on.

I'll be doing the drawing on Sunday, April 5th.

Political Verses: National Poetry Month Prizes

In celebration of National Poetry Month, I’ll be giving away books of light verse as prizes for people who leave comments at my posts during the month of April.

Here are the books you’ll have a chance of winning:

American Wits: An Anthology of Light Verse
(American Poets Project)

The Best of Ogden Nash
Edited by Linell Nash Smith

The Underwear Salesman and Other Jobs for Better or Verse
Written by J. Patrick Lewis
Illustrated by Serge Bloch

Once Upon a Tomb: Gravely Humorous Verse
Written by J. Patrick Lewis
Illustrated by Simon Bartram

The World’s Greatest: Poems
Written by J. Patrick Lewis
Illustrated by Keith Graves

You can read my review of the book in this Wild Rose Reader post: The World's Greatest: Poems--A Book Review

NOTE: If you comment/have commented at any of my March posts at Political Verses you could win the following book :

Deciding the Next Decider: The 2008 Presidential Race in Rhyme
Written by Calvin Trillin

You can read my Wild Rose Reader post about this book here.

Michele Bachmann: Armed and Dangerous

From Huffington Post (March 23, 2009):
Michele Bachmann: I Want People "Armed And Dangerous" Over Obama Tax Plan

Controversial Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) said this weekend that she wants residents of her state "armed and dangerous" over President Barack Obama's plan to reduce global warming "because we need to fight back."

Asked about the White House-backed cap-and-trade proposal to reduce carbon emissions, Bachmann told WWTC 1280 AM, "I want people in Minnesota armed and dangerous on this issue of the energy tax because we need to fight back. Thomas Jefferson told us 'having a revolution every now and then is a good thing,' and the people -- we the people -- are going to have to fight back hard if we're not going to lose our country. And I think this has the potential of changing the dynamic of freedom forever in the United States."


Michelle Bachmann: Armed and Dangerous
By Elaine Magliaro

She’s wild-eyed and packin’ heat—
One congressgal who’s not so sweet.
She isn’t your typical Minnesotan.
She’s militant…warlike—and totin’
A derringer in her Gucci bag…
A Smith and Wesson—40 mag,
A semi-automatic Colt.
She thinks it’s time for an armed revolt.
She’s out inciting insurrection!
(How DID this crank win re-election?????)

She says she’s ready for a revolution!
I say she’s ready for an institution—
An asylum for the politically inane
With padded cells. This gal’s insane.
She’s crazy. She’s possessed. She’s mad!
As a final thought I'd like to add:
She needs a good psychiatrist—
Or, better still, an exorcist!

Rush and the Pussy-Cat: A Limbaughrhyme

From MediaMatters: Limbaugh said he learned about women from his cat, which "gets loved," "petted," and "fed" and "doesn't have to do anything for it"

On the November 30 edition of his nationally syndicated radio show, host Rush Limbaugh proclaimed: My "cat's taught me more about women, than anything my whole life" because his pet cat "comes to me when she wants to be fed," and "[s]he's smart enough to know she can't feed herself. She's actually [a] very smart cat. She gets loved. She gets adoration. She gets petted. She gets fed. And she doesn't have to do anything for it." Limbaugh has previously stated, on the March 1, 2005, edition of his show, that "[w]omen still live longer than men because their lives are easier"; on January 10, he suggested that some women "would love to be hired as eye candy."

You can read the rest of this article here.

Here is my parody of Edward Lear's famous poem The Owl and the Pussy-Cat. In my version, Rush Limbaugh substitutes for "the owl."

Rush and the Pussy-Cat
(With apologies to Edward Lear)
By Elaine Magliaro

Rush and his Pussy-Cat went to sea
In a humongous pea-green boat.
They took some victuals and plenty of Skittles
Zipped up in big blue tote.
Rush looked up to the stars above
And croaked like frog in heat:
“O lovely pussy, O Pussy, my pet
What a purr-fect little pussy! You’re sweet,
So sweet!
What a purr-fect little pussy! Let’s eat!!!”

Pussy said to her master, “Can we sail a little faster?
I’d like to reach land by dawn.
You’ve got ketchup on your chinny and you’re talking like a ninny.
Will you stop wolfing down all my prawn!”
So they sailed away and decided to stay
On an isle that served endless buffets.
And there on the sand—a roast beef in his hand—
Rush settled in chartreuse-colored chaise,
A chaise.
Rush settled in a chartreuse-colored chaise.

“Rush, are you still eating?” purr-fect pussy started bleating.
“You will never EVER stop, I fear!”
He ignored her plaintive pleas as he ate a plate of cheese
And he guzzled down a gallon stein of beer.
Then he crunched a bag of chips and he smacked his lusty lips.
Next, he started scarfing down some cassoulet.
Oh, he kept on masticating. It was SO intoxicating
He cried, “Pussy, will you marry me today,
today?!”
He cried, “Pussy, will you marry me today?!”

Pussy rolled her feline eyes and began to vocalize
Her reasons for not wanting to be wed.
“Oh, I know you think I’m dandy. I don’t want to be eye candy—
But respected for the brains inside my head.”
She then stood on her hind paws and she showed her pointed claws.
“I'm a female who wants so much more from life.
So your offer I’ll decline—and I hope that you won’t whine.
Rush, I cannot be your sweet submissive wife,
Your wife.
I just cannot be your sweet submissive wife.”

***************

At Wild Rose Reader, I have Things to Do If You Are a Pencil, an original poem that’s included in Falling Down the Page: A Book of List Poems, a new anthology edited by Georgia Heard.

At Blue Rose Girls, I have a post about Magnetic Poetry and a poem I composed using one of the kits at the magnetic Poetry site. (Thanks to Cloudscome for her Magnetic Poetry post last Friday.)

Julie Larios has the Poetry Friday Roundup at The Drift Record.

Dead Beckoning: A Poem about Glenn Beck

Excerpt from Political Animal by Steve Benen and featuring Hilzoy
Washington Monthly (March 17, 2009)

PEOPLE ARE WATCHING THIS LUNATIC.... Glenn Beck, Fox News' deranged media personality, has been telling a national television audience that the Obama administration might be setting up secret "concentration camps" to lock up conservatives. The president, Beck believes, may be using FEMA in this conspiratorial drive towards "a totalitarian state."


Beck, who has already voiced his affinity for the John Birch Society, is also distributing Birchers' literature to his audiences.


If he were just some random right-wing blogger, it would be easier to laugh this off. If he were just some strange man screaming on a street corner, social service agencies might be called in to help the guy out. But instead, people are listening to this nut.


In fact, Beck has been dominating cable news recently. According to TVNewser's charts of Nielsen ratings, out of all the cable news networks, his Fox show has consistently placed second in the key demographic of viewers aged 25 to 54 over the past couple weeks, beating even Sean Hannity's and trailing only "The O'Reilly Factor." When it comes to total viewers, too, Beck's been cleaning up, generally placing third, just behind Hannity.


Dead Beckoning: A Poem about Glenn Beck
By Elaine Magliaro

He’s nuttier than a fruitcake.
He’s as crazy as a loon.
He’s got bats up in his belfry—
And he howls at the moon.

He’s a little low on neurons
And his brain’s stuck in first gear.
This nincompoop Neanderthal
Takes joy spreading fear.

He cries for love of country…
While pondering its doom
With other “prescient” experts
In his fantasized War Room.

He talks about disasters
That might befall our nation
At some dates in the future.
It’s just right wing titillation.

His ratings keep on soaring
And his TV show’s a hit.
Some folks are fascinated
By the rantings of this twit!

He praises folks like Cheney.
Our President? He knocks.
His comrades at the channel—
Chris and Bill O.—think he rocks.

You can watch Beck blaze on cable.
He’s the bright new star at FOX.



From FOX News Interview Archive (Monday, February 23, 2009)

Glenn Beck’s War Room

Here's an excerpt:
GLENN BECK, HOST: Tonight, we have a very special edition of "The Glenn Beck" program. I want to you join me in the war room which is actually our regular set. We just lit it differently.
But we're going to play out some of the worst case scenarios with some of the greatest minds around, asking ourselves one simple question: What if? Everybody always says, "Gee, you know, we've got to bail out these banks because it will be really bad if we don't." Well, what does it mean "really bad"?


And tonight, we're going to think it out with the help of former CIA agents, some of the best money people around, military analysts, survival experts. We're going to try to show you how to prepare for the worst while everybody else is sitting back and hoping for the best. And I want you to know — everybody involved in this show is also hoping for the best.

Also--Hookers and homelessness: Beck’s War Room predicts doomsday scenario (Video)

Journalistawocky: A Poem Inspired by Bill O'Reilly

Here is an excerpt from Coming soon to a lefty rag near you by Bill O’Reilly
(Boston Herald—Sunday, March 22, 2009)

The other day, left-wing muckraker Seymour Hersh went on MSNBC and said he had information, provided by the usual anonymous sources, that Dick Cheney was running an assassination squad out of the White House.

I have but one simple observation: If Cheney really had such a crew, Hersh would have been dead a long time ago, and so would most everybody at MSNBC.

You can read the rest of Bill’s Op-Ed here.


Inspired by Bill O’Reilly’s Op-Ed, I give you this parody of Lewis Carroll’s Jabberwocky:
Journalistawocky
(With apologies to Lewis Carroll)
By Elaine Magliaro

‘Twas brilling, and the slimy Rove
Did gyre and gyrate in D. C.;
All mumsy were the neocons,
As was Darth Dick, our last V. P.

“Beware the liberal media!
The pinko press is out to get us!
Watch out for Seymour Hersch. Do shun
That venal villainnettus!”

He took his AK-47:
Long time an investigative foe he sought—
So rested he by the River Potomac
And lay awhile in thought.

And as in ruffish thought he lay,
Seymour Hersh with his fearsome pen,
Came snuffling through the grubbly grass,
And flubbled on the fen.

One shot! Two! And through and through
The bullets all went whizzerack!
He left Hersh then—and took his pen.
He went scarrumping back.

“And hast though slain that narsty knave?
Come to my arms, my breadly lad!
Oh freelish day! Callooh! Callay!”
He chuckled for he was so glad.

‘Twas brilling, and the slimy Rove
Did gyre and gyrate in D. C.;
All mumsy were the neocons,
As was Darth Dick, our last V. P.

A Lobbying I'll Go: A D. C. Ditty

From National Journal Magazine (March 21, 2009)

Obama Aiming To Lock Turnstile For Lobbyists
President Obama wants Washington lobbyists to check their professional identities on the way into his administration.
By Julie Kosterlitz

Ever since Barack Obama began issuing his broadsides on the presidential campaign trail against lobbyists and the "culture of Washington," Washington has debated whether he was being cynical or merely naive.

Lobbyists "think they own this government, but we're here today to take it back," Obama announced at the outset of his campaign in 2007. He later boasted that he didn't "take a dime of [lobbyists'] money, and when I am president, they won't find a job in my White House."

Although he had already softened his stance a bit before the election -- saying only that lobbyists wouldn't rule his White House -- the pundits and K Street pronounced Obama's boast a nonstarter. Sooner or later, most experienced Washington hands gravitate to lobbying, went the logic, and Obama simply would not be able to run a government without veterans who had some connection to K Street or the wider influence sector.

You can read the rest of the article here.

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A Lobbying I’ll Go: A D. C. Ditty
by Elaine Magliaro

A lobbying I’ll go, a lobbying I’ll go,
Heigh ho the CEO, a lobbying I’ll go.
I’ve got a corporate stash.
I’ll take a wad of cash.
Heigh ho the CEO, a lobbying I’ll go.
I’ll drive into D. C.
Oh, how they’ll welcome me!
Heigh ho the CEO, a lobbying I’ll go.
The senators all know
I’m like Santa Claus. Ho, ho!
Heigh ho the CEO, a lobbying I’ll go.
With my roll of bills unwound
I’ll pass the wealth around.
Heigh ho the CEO, a lobbying I’ll go.
There’s a congressman of note!
Hey, I’ll go and buy a vote.
Heigh ho the CEO, a lobbying I’ll go.
This town Washington’s for sale.
We lobbyists prevail.
Heigh ho the CEO, a lobbying I’ll go.
I love the work I do.
I make LOTS of money too!
Heigh ho the CEO, a lobbying I’ll go.

Why Don't Women Like Rush Limbaugh?: A Rhyming Response

The EIB Network Female Summit (February 25, 2009)

Here is the beginning of the transcript:

RUSH: Ladies and gentlemen, we are going to do the Female Summit today, by the way. We will do the Female Summit in the third hour of the program today, and the reason we're going to do the Female Summit is Public Policy Polling in North Carolina published a national poll on your beloved host, El Rushbo. They found I've got 46% approval, 43% disapproval, but I got a huge gender gap. My gender gap between men and women is 31%. Thirty-one percent is the differential between male approval and female approval. So yesterday I said, "What can I do about this? What could be done? What is the explanation for this?"

********************

Rush Limbaugh wants to know why women don’t like him. Since he wants an explanation, I, a member of the female gender, am happy to oblige him—in rhyming verse.

Why Don’t Women Like Rush Limbaugh?: A Rhyming Response
By Elaine Magliaro

Limbaugh, Limbaugh, cookies and cream,
Rush kissed the girls and made them scream.
He asked them if they’d like to play
But the feminazis ran away.

Limbaugh, Limbaugh, pudding and pie,
Ole clueless Rush couldn’t figure why
He didn’t rate with the “weaker” sex.
Maybe it’s 'cause he has three necks!

Maybe it’s 'cause he’s full of bile
And sports a snide satanic smile
And calls us babes—and things much worse.

Here’s your answer, Rush, in this little verse.

***************

Edited to Add:
From A Prairie Home Companion

The Old Scout: Disabilities and Delusions
By Garrison Keillor

Many thanks to Tanita of Finding Wondering for this link!

Henry K., Man of Peace: A Poem by J. Patrick Lewis

Just a few days after I launched Political Verses, the talented and prolific children’s poet J. Patrick Lewis emailed me about my new solo blog. A most generous man, J. Patrick even sent along some of his own political verses. He offered them to me for posting here. I was thrilled.

J. Patrick Lewis

Today, I have a poem he wrote about Henry Kissinger several years ago.

Henry K., Man of Peace

by J. Patrick Lewis
“Since Henry Kissinger won the Nobel Peace
Prize, nothing seems funny anymore.”
Tom Lehrer, on why he stopped writing
and performing comic songs.

I’m Henry K. of the White House corps.
When they whispered PEACE, I shouted WAR!
Hell, that’s what Nixon paid me for.
The body count? Who’s keeping score?
I’m an Intullek-chew-wool.

I’m the World Gone MAD Custodian.
My goals were Don Quixotean,
My windmills were Cambodian.
I bombed ‘em! No more toadyin’.
I’m an Intullek-chew-wool.

I’m the biggest, slowest talking head
To monopolize the old Op-Ed.
I’m well-off, well-endowed, well-read,
And first in line at the paper-shred.
I’m an Intullek-chew-wool.

[A Note from J. Patrick Lewis: This poem first appeared in LIGHT QUARTERLY,
Winter 2002-2003. All rights are mine. JPL]

What some of you may not know: J. Patrick Lewis is a writer of light verse for adults. Many of his humorous poems have appeared in Light Quarterly. Here are links to some of those poems :

• Click here to read some of J. Patrick Lewis’s Animal Epitaphs included in the Autumn 2006 issue.


• You can read several more of Pat’s clever light verses in the Summer 2000 issue.

Thanks, Pat, for granting me permission to post your poem here!

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Here are links to two of my original poems that I posted at Political Verses this week: Winnie the Pooh-Bah and the Hundred Acre Wood: A Poem about Rush Limbaugh and Bernie Made Off with My Money.

I’m doing the Poetry Friday Roundup at Wild Rose Reader today. Please leave the URL of your poetry post and a short description of it in the comments at my special Roundup Post.

Winnie the Pooh-Bah and the Hundred Acre Wood: A Poem about Rush Limbaugh

Winnie the Pooh-Bah and the Hundred Acre Wood
(With apologies to A. A. Milne)
by Elaine Magliaro

He lives in the forest
But he can’t see the trees.
He suffers from
Far right optical disease.

He looks at things his way—
And not as they are.
This Winnie Pooh-Bah reigns
As GOP Czar.

He sits on his wooden throne,
An old oak stump…
And talks into his microphone.
He likes to harrumph

About the feminazis,
Liberals and their kin.
And for one Know-Nothing?
He can make an awful din.

He blathers and he blusters
And he bloviates.
He’s the pope of the radio.
He pontificates.

He’s the GOP prophet,
Its spokesperson divine.
Its senators and congressman
Must toe his party line.

They all must pledge allegiance.
They must grovel at his feet…
And like a flock of dittoheads
Must follow him and bleat.

The Tiggers and the Piglets
And all the little Roos
Consider this plump Pooh-Bah
Their one official Muse.

The heffalumps and jagulars,
The foxes, deer, and pheasant
Have all left the forest
’Cause they find his noise unpleasant.

He spouts and he sputters
In the Hundred Acre Wood—
This lord who wears a crown beneath
His snowy white hood.

A Poem about Bernie Madoff

Bernie Made Off with My Money
by Eline Magliaro



Sing a song of sixpence.
That’s all that I have left!
Bernie stole my money.
Now I’m broke, bummed out, bereft.

He made off with my nest egg.
He had a lot of gall.
He made off with my peace of mind.
He took my wherewithal.

He made off with a lot of dough.
Did not invest one cent!
Let’s dress him up in sackcloth…
Make him kneel down and repent.

Let’s curse this smarmy scumbag
Who swindled friends and neighbors
Of all their hard-earned savings
And the fruits of their long labors.

Let’s send him off to prison.
Let’s Sing Sing a song of jail
And pray this Ponzi schemer's
Never out again on bail.

A Hunting He Will Go: A Poem about Dick Cheney

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot and wounded a campaign contributor during a weekend quail hunt on a friend's South Texas ranch, local authorities and the vice president's office said Sunday. (February 13, 2006)

A Hunting He Will Go
A poem inspired by our former vice president
by Elaine Magliaro

Who’s hunting here? I think I know.
That’s why I’m certain I must go.
Don’t want to get shot by mistake
Because he thinks that I’m a doe.

I hear his voice. He’s coming near.
Oh, Lord! I know I’ve much to fear.
I best be sprightly on my feet
And get the HELL out of here!

His rifle’s raised; he’s taking aim.
“I’m a human being!” I exclaim.
“Hey! Can’t you see I’m not a deer?”
(Guess he’s decided I’m fair game.)

Forsooth! Alas! He walks my way.
I guess this ain’t my lucky day.
I do not want to be his prey.
I do not want to be his prey.

And Who Will Lead the GOP?

And Who Will Lead the GOP?
by Elaine Magliaro

Little Boy Blue,
Come blow your horn.
Mitt’s in the Meadow.
Mike Steele’s in the corn.
Rush is out riding
His hippo this morn.
Boehner’s in Congress—
He’s bitchin’ and moanin’.
And Newt’s out of town—
So, I guess, he’ll just phone in.
Governor Jindal’s
Gone into seclusion.
He’s getting a needed
Rhetorical transfusion.
Mitch M. is refining
His partisan skills.
McCain is out hunting
For earmarks in bills.
And where’s Sarah Palin,
The gal with the glasses?
Did she fall into
One of Alaska’s crevasses?
Oh dear! My oh my!
What’s the party to do?
Hey, are you busy now,
Mister Magoo?

If Only Somebody Would: A Terse Verse about Ann Coulter

Ann Coulter?
Somebody bolt 'er
mouth shut...
or stitch it up with catgut...
or gag her with a soiled sock.
I can't bear to hear her squawk!

All Bow Down Now: A Limbaughrhyme

Here's a poem inspired by Rush Limbaugh's performance at CPAC last week. It's my very first Limbaughrhyme!

(Someone should tell Rush that fat white men shouldn't jump. I heard he really rocked the seismometers!)



All Bow Down Now

Higgeldy Piggeldy Limbaugh the swine
Thought he was Tarzan, swung from a vine.
With his pink fleshy fists, porky and plump,
On his flabulous chest, he started to thump.

Rushy then stood like god Thor at the podium.
He railed at Obama in a speech filled with odium.
He thundered. He ranted. He jumped up and down.
Now he struts like a king with the GOP crown!

The Exterminator's List of Things to Do: An Original Poem about Tom DeLay

One night in late February, my husband and I were watching MSNBC. I began to feel ill when I saw Tom DeLay's face on the TV screen. (Shouldn’t he be locked up in a prison somewhere in Texas?) Just looking at the man’s face brings on a feeling of malaise. The needle on my barfometer went haywire!

I decided to let Tom, the ex pest exterminator, be the subject of an original poem that I wrote for Tricia's Monday Poetry Stretch - Macaronic Verse. Here’s my macaronic verse in which the second language consists of words I made up.


The Exterminator’s List of Things to Do
or
A Typical Workday for Tom Delay
by Elaine Magliaro

Snurl the snails
And slimy slugs.
Sonk the sow
And doodlebugs.

Flurk the flies,
Gnink nasty gnats,
Wurf the wasps
With baseball bats.

Smoot and smash
The millipedes.
Erk the earwigs,
Centipedes.

Burb the beetles
Munching roses…
Mothy larvae
Chewing clotheses.

Murch the mantis
When she’s preying
On her mate…and
Then start spraying

Bugs wrapped up
In balls of spittle.
Grunch the grubs
Now while they’re little.

Arf the aphids
Sucking sap…
Then borp ’em
With my baseball cap.

Tumb the termites
Gnawing lumber,
Ant queens reigning
In the umber.

Derch those dung-heap
Democrats
Who’ll raise your taxes.
Rotten rats!

(Best I’m able
To determine
They’re just a pack
Of human vermin.)

Quell MY head lice
With shampoo.
Lord, I’ve so much
Work to do!!!


A tidbit of wisdom from Tom DeLay on the causes of the Columbine High School massacre:
"Guns have little or nothing to do with juvenile violence. The causes of youth violence are working parents who put their kids into daycare, the teaching of evolution in the schools, and working mothers who take birth control pills."

Yuh…right!!!

Campaign 2008 Poems

I decided I needed another blog where I could post all of my political verses. I usually write such verses when I become frustrated or upset--and feel like banging my head against a wall or pulling my hair out. I decided to vent through poetry, which I have found to be a fine way to rid myself of political angst. I'm not sure yet how often I'll be posting poems on this blog.

I wrote the following four poems last fall. My inspiration? Sarah Palin and Joe the unlicensed plumber. These poems were previously posted at my blog Wild Rose Reader.


Palinoem #1
Jeery Query

Lipstick on pit bulls and pigs?
Oh my!
Polar bears aren’t endangered?
Oh fie!
Drilling in animal refuges?
Sigh.
Shooting at wildlife from up in the sky?
“Abstinence only” for sex ed?
Huh? Why?
Creationism in science class at the high?
Earmarks for her state Alaska?
Aye, aye!
She said NO to that bridge!!!
And that isn’t a lie???

When I need to vent,
I go versify!



Palinoem #2
A Metaphorical Political Terse Tercet

If you're sailin'
with Palin
better start bailin'



Palinoem #3
Innuendo…and More
Sarah Palin Stumpin’ Along on the Campaign Trail

He pals around with terrorists!
He doesn’t love the USA.
He really isn’t one of US!
“Fer shur, fer shur,” that’s what I say.

His middle name’s Hussein, ya know.
How UN-American is that?
“Who is ‘that’ tall dark one?” you ask.
Why, he’s one black, elusive cat.

Who is Obama? Who is he?
He’s really not one of our kind!
He lived in Indonesia once…
Hawaii, too! Keep that in mind!

He won’t support our troops--oh no!
He’s not a patriot like me.
I’m just a down home country girl.
Heck, I’m a hockey mom, ya see.

Why, he’s elitist; I’m mainstream.
Ya know, I’m like the rest of you.
Gosh darn it, I’m no millionaire.
I know what y’all are goin’ through.

I’m a maverick reformer.
Oh, I’m a mighty Amazon.
My heels are on; my gloves are off.
I’m here to save the day for John.



Who’s on Board the Straight Squawk Express?
or Joe the Plumber Et Al
by Elaine the retired teacher

Joe the plumber,
Mack the Knife,
Hal the husband,
Val the wife,
Don the dentist,
Dick the doc,
Phil the farmer,
Hank the hawk,
Gail the grocer,
Ken the catcher,
Pat the daft
Police dispatcher,
Val the vet and
Babs the baker,
Chad the chocolate
Candy maker,
Al the actor,
Sal the singer,
Greg the guy
Who sniffs his finger,
Bud the butcher,
Mike the mayor,
Steve the hunky
Land surveyor,
Peg the pilot,
Bill the banker,
Nell the nightly
News-hour anchor,
Vic who drives
the old age van,
Rob the Roto-rooter man,
Will the waiter,
Gil the gilder,
Bo the brawny
Body builder
Ted the teacher,
Don the drummer,
George and Sarah--
Dumb and dumber…
Driving over
Hill and dale
Busy on
The campaign trail.