Winnie the Pooh-Bah and the Hundred Acre Wood
(With apologies to A. A. Milne)
by Elaine Magliaro
He lives in the forest
But he can’t see the trees.
He suffers from
Far right optical disease.
He looks at things his way—
And not as they are.
This Winnie Pooh-Bah reigns
As GOP Czar.
He sits on his wooden throne,
An old oak stump…
And talks into his microphone.
He likes to harrumph
About the feminazis,
Liberals and their kin.
And for one Know-Nothing?
He can make an awful din.
He blathers and he blusters
And he bloviates.
He’s the pope of the radio.
He pontificates.
He’s the GOP prophet,
Its spokesperson divine.
Its senators and congressman
Must toe his party line.
They all must pledge allegiance.
They must grovel at his feet…
And like a flock of dittoheads
Must follow him and bleat.
The Tiggers and the Piglets
And all the little Roos
Consider this plump Pooh-Bah
Their one official Muse.
The heffalumps and jagulars,
The foxes, deer, and pheasant
Have all left the forest
’Cause they find his noise unpleasant.
He spouts and he sputters
In the Hundred Acre Wood—
This lord who wears a crown beneath
His snowy white hood.
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Brilliant! And I love the Labels designation for this: "Limbaughrhymes" - it's true, the man needs his own category.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Julie! It's true--he does need his own category. I'm sure he'll provide me and others with plenty of fodder in the future for poetical rants. BTW, I have a couple more Limbaughrhymes that I haven't posted yet.
ReplyDeleteWhoa! That's a zinger of an ending! Yowsah and touche!!!
ReplyDeleteMary Lee,
ReplyDeleteIf I can come up with one--I try to end my poems with a little zinger.
I love the zingers! You so good at them too. Keep 'em coming!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Linda. I'll do my best!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Susan!
ReplyDeleteWOW! That ending!
ReplyDeleteYikes!!!!
I'm loving these!!!
Thanks so much, Tanita! I was hoping all the work I've put into this blog would be worth the effort.
ReplyDeleteFabulous!! Oh, this is a great way to vent ... please keep them coming!
ReplyDeleteNandini,
ReplyDeletePoetry is indeed a great vehicle for venting. There are few things I relish more than ranting in rhyme.
YES!
ReplyDeleteThe white hooded ending (minus the snowy white robe and burning cross) says it all about this particular person.
The poem was wonderful! I think Milne would approve:)
Christine,
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you liked my political poetic foray into the Hundred Acre Wood.
The only thing wrong with this poem is that poor Winnie-the-Pooh and the pope are stuck in it with that hateful man. ** Shudder ** :)
ReplyDeleteKaren,
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean...but I couldn't resist calling "that" man Winnie the Pooh-Bah--and having him frighten poor animals from the Hundred Acre Wood.
Subtle use of the left wing hammer on a right wing head; nice tap.
ReplyDelete