Friday, April 24, 2009

Knock, Knock, Knockin' on Heaven's Door: John Yoo at the Pearly Gates


Knock Knock Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door: John Yoo at the Pearly Gates

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Halloo! It’s Yoo!
Yoo Who?
John Yoo. That’s who.
The Yoo who wrote the torture memo?

Yes, it’s THAT Yoo. That’s true.
You, Yoo, cannot come in. Shoo, Yoo,
Head to hell where you’ll get your due!

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Boohoo! Boohoo!
I beg your pardon. Boo…Who?

It’s Yoo—not Boo! Sorry…I was feeling blue.
Now open the gate and let me through!

As I recall, I bid YOU adieu.
Now go to hell like I told you to.

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?

It’s me. It’s Yoo.
Let me in or I’ll make a great big hullabaloo!

Pooh, Yoo, you’ve done some things that you should rue.
Now it’s time to sit and stew.
The devil said you’re overdue!

Let me in. I’m begging you!
Sorry, Yoo—no can do.
It’s time for you to barbecue
Down with the fire and brimstone crew.
Adieu. Toodle-oo. Don’t come back. SCREW, Yoo!

Earlier This Week at Political Verses
The Cows Caused It: A Poem about Global Warming
This Be the Verse: It Doesn't Matter What You Do (A Poem by J. Patrick Lewis)



  1. Elaine, do you ever watch INSIDE THE ACTORS STUDIO? James Lipton asks the interviewed actors what they hope God will say when they get to Heaven. This is like the opposite of that! I love "Sorry, Yoo - no can do."

  2. Who knew the news
    could make you (not Yoo)
    not wallowing in blue,
    but seeing such vivid

  3. I was never good at knock knock joke. Enjoyed this.

  4. Julie, Mary Lee, & Color--

    It's funny how ideas for poems pop into one's head. I had been listening to all the news about torture--oh excuse me, enhanced interrogation methods--when I thought Yoo would be a good subject for a poem this week. Last night, the idea for writing a Knock Knock poem came to me out of nowhere. Fortunately, Yoo rhymes with lots of words so I could write an extended verse.

    Mary Lee--I've been seeing RED about Yoo ever since I read Jane Mayer's book THE DARK SIDE.

  5. St. Peter is having a REALLY BAD DAY.